How to Get Your Ex back

Trying to get your ex back? Your initial strategies may have already failed.

Pleading with him didn't work; your promises to change were equally

ineffective. Even your devious attempts to interfere in his new relationship

were ultimately futile. Worse yet, now you appear selfish, manipulative,

maybe even immature to your ex-boyfriend. Now more than ever, it's important

to think of the image you are projecting to your ex-boyfriend, and find ways

to improve that image before all hope of reconcilation is lost.

First, it's time to immediately put a stop to all of your existing post-

breakup behaviors. If these strategies were effective, they would have

already worked! Getting back an ex-boyfriend requires a different but

remarkably simple strategy: doing that which is least expected, and remaining

low-key in all that you do. You might think that keeping conspicuously in

sight is a good way to remain in his mind's eye. But tracking him down to the

bar where he hangs out with his friends (or his new date) will only make you

look like a stalker. This certainly won't convince him to return. On the

contrary, he's likely to push you away even further.

If you do happen to make the faux pas of running into him at a bar or dining

establishment, feel free to acknowledge him when you see him. But don't

overdo it. Simply greet him casually and move on. You might even modestly and

politely offer to leave the room in the interest of keeping him comfortable.

Your newfound selflessness won't go unnoticed, and might even give him some

cause to reflect on your relationship more positively. Similarly, stop

calling him-- especially if you've been calling daily (or worse). Call him

only if you really need something. Don't bother to beg his forgiveness or try

to seduce him into returning over the phone. If you don't have a very good

reason to talk to him, don't dial his number.

You might consider giving him a brief, low-key call a week or two later, just

to say hello and to let him know he's on your mind, perhaps just to ask how

he's been doing lately. If he sounds suspicious, worrying aloud that your

calm and polite demeanor is just a preamble to a torrent of tears and

pleading, reassure him that no such thing will take place. Let him know your

call is only because you missed him-- as a friend, naturally!-- and you just

wanted to make sure he was alright. Keep it brief, and say goodbye calmly,

leaving a positive impression in his mind. He'll be left wondering why you

didn't beg for his return. Are you starting to move on already?

Could there already be someone else? You could also send a card in lieu of a

phone call. Just don't overdo it-- a couple polite, distanced lines will do.

Let him know you're thinking of him, but don't say too much, and whatever you

do, don't ever allude to reuniting with him! Smothering your ex-boyfriend is

a terrible idea. Just remain in his sight, but barely. Never be a nuisance.

Always maintain a positive and gentle demeanor, letting him thumb through his

own memories of your time together after each brief encounter. With a little

such prodding and a little luck, he'll come around and come back to you on

his own.